My journey began just over 5 weeks ago - but really it was only 3.

In fact, I think it may have been the day after "I fell" that I realised I was pregnant. I was sitting at my desk at work, it was not quite 8am and I was feeling as though I hadn't slept for weeks.

I was truly exhausted.

I also had swollen glans - so I took myself off to the doctor in the local medical centre for a blood test to see if it was all in my imagination. Have you been to a medical centre in the city lately? I haven't - in fact, it had been so long that my medicare card had expired since I was last there. I waited in a queue to be put into the queue to see a doctor. Then I sat in a chair for again what seemed like hours (and in fact was probably over an hour), almost falling asleep, but hoping each time a doctor came along that it was my name s/he would read out.

Finally, a doctor called my name (he even pronounced it correctly - miracle of miracles) - when I sat down he asked me where I was born. I replied "here" (meaning Sydney) and he asked if I meant the suburb that my parents live in. Surprised I said "yes". It turns out that he was a doctor at the practice that my family went to when I was a little girl - which was how he knew how to pronounce my surname! He then mused for a while at the smallness of the world (while I tried to figure out how old that made him - very!) and asked after my mother... then he said "you know, you look like your mother". Fortunately for him I figured out that the last time he'd seen my mum she probably was only about 5 years older than I am now - AND he was far enough away that I couldn't slap him.

So after 2 queues to see the good Doc, it turns out that he doesn't draw the blood himself - I had to take myself to the "treatment room" (and another queue) where I sat for another 1/2 hour waiting to get my blood taken. There was a lovely woman who, like all those before her struggled to find a vein in my right arm. She finally found one in my left arm and I remembered all the needles that come with being pregnant.

I struggled through the next two days before I get the test results. I find myself waiting in the 2nd queue again and wondering whether I'm hoping that the test is positive or negative. While like lots of our friends our first experience with getting pregnant was amazingly simple, lots of those same friends took much longer to conceive their second. Hubby remarked that he hoped this time it might take a bit longer so he could have more "practice". I think though the reality wouldn't be nearly so pleasant. I'd challenge him to talk to the husbands of our friends who, 3 years later, still aren't pregnant and be careful what he wishes for. Doc familiar calls my name and into his office I go - still trying to figure out exactly how old he must be (they all seem old, the docs at the medical centre)... he asks if I told my mother i'd seen him (I hadn't - that would have meant lots of questions)... Then proceeds to go through my bloodwork. I'm holding my breath. You're iron deficient he tells me - that would explain the tiredness. Ok, so I'll take some supplements... get on with it... am I?

And then he says it. Pregnancy test - negative.

My heart sinks - guess I wanted it to be positive.

On the plus side, I could tell my mum about Doc familiar and have a perfectly rational explanation for the visit.

I call hubby and let him know the news. But i'm still exhausted a week later, by now the iron supplements should have started working - and my lower back is really sore. I think it's possible I might be pregnant - so what's with the blood test. I do some research (gotta love google) only to discover that the blood test was far too early and wouldn't have picked up a pregancy at that stage. I wonder why Doc familiar didn't know this or if he did why he didn't tell me it was too early. Is this just him or an indictment of medical centres in general?

It comes time for my monthly "friend" to arrive. No sign - do I pee on a stick? Are you that regular hubby asks? How the bloody hell should I know, i've only been off the pill for 2 months and that's hardly an indication. The instruction booklet says "it's best to use first morning wee" as it's been in your bladder for the longest - so first thing in the morning I pee on a stick (and kinda all over me - does anyone know how to do it without making a mess?). I go and get my son (Master 2) some milk, change his nappy get him up, and walk back into the bathroom to find 2 lines on the test. For those of you unfamiliar - good news! You're up the Duff!