Public hospital care, babymoon booked and getting older....

Dramas all around, so much has happened in the past 10 days (has it only been that long??).

Lots of the drama have left me hormonal and in tears but I think that's passed... so here goes.

Firstly - and I should be upfront about this.

I have an ideological objection to the private health system.

I am a believer that our public health system should be universal and second to none, and that people opting out of the system sends a message to government that "It's OK" to expect people to pay. I, for one (and I know I'm not the only one) would be more than happy to pay more tax for a better health care system. But it won't happen if people just opt out. So, this is primarily the reason for our choice of the public health care system.

But enough ranting and back to my story.

But first some history...

When our son was born I was fortunate enough to be accepted into the "Group Midwifery Program" at our local public hospital. The program meant that I was allocated my own midwife who had responsibility for my antenatal care, primary responsibility for my delivery and then my post natal care. The midwife I had was wonderful - my husband and I developed a relationship with her and I was able to call her at any time during my pregnancy with questions about my health or concerns.

There were some complications with the delivery of my son (you may choose not to read the gory details, if so skip to the next paragraph) - my labour failed to progress, he was posterior which meant I couldn't sit or lie down at all during the "pre labour" (which btw, lasted for 12 hours and they don't count as time in labour!). I ended up having an epidural, a forceps delivery and 3rd degree tears as well as damage to my coccyx. Recovery was 13 weeks (until I could sit without a foam pad).

Given these complications I was advised by the good doctors who helped with the delivery that unless I wanted to have more than 4 children (are you kidding - after that experience!), another natural delivery was too risky. My midwife and I discussed what my options might be and she suggested that I call her to talk further before we started trying for our 2nd child. Unfortunately by this stage (18 months later) she'd moved on and so it was to another midwife that I spoke. She was unfamiliar with the complications I'd experienced but nevertheless spoke to the doctor who overseas the program about my options. I was serious overjoyed when she came back and told me that due to "continuity of care" there shouldn't be any problems with me going back through the program with baby 2 even though we knew I was to have a "planned caesarean" (a term I dislike btw).

So now you're up to date with the history...

Everything was going well - or so I thought. I booked into the hospital and had my required appointment with the clinic doctor (2 hours of waiting later - I keep reminding myself of my ideology!!). She was less than useful. She hadn't looked at my file and after listening to my lay person version of events assured me that I could have a natural birth. I nearly had a fit, well no, actually I nearly burst into tears. I asked her if she'd read my file and she said no, and I said that with all due respect until she had read it and understood the risks that the OBs who delivered my son had outlined I wasn't going to be taking any of her advice. When said that I had to continue seeing the docs at the clinic and couldn't see the midwives (btw, NOTHING she did at that appointment couldn't have been done by one of the midwives), tears again threatened to overwhelm me. I said that I wasn't prepared to come back and wait 2 hours for an appointment each time I had to have an appointment - at which point she wavered and said I could see the midwives except for 2 appointments, one at 28 week and one at 36. Because she explained condescendingly that midwives weren't able to book me in for a caesarean (really??!!).

I then got a call from the midwife who was assigned to me who said that because of my history she couldn't commit to take me on until she'd cleared it with the doctor that runs their unit. I was OK with this phone call because I'd already done my homework and was reasonably sure that there wouldn't be any problems...

A week later the midwife called me back.

"I've got bad news" she said.

My heart sank.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

"The doctor has looked at your file and there are just too many 'No's and not enough 'yes's" she said.

I was a blubbering mess.

I couldn't cope with going to see different clinic doctors or midwives at each appointment. I did everything right, everything that they told me.

"What about continuity of care?" I asked (well if you can call it that when I'm struggling to keep my composure and have tears running down my face).

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my decision and there's nothing I can do".

I hung up the phone and burst into tears. Master 2 had no idea what was going on... "Mummy's cwrying" he observes, "Mummy's sad".

I was devastated.
I cried for a while until I felt like I could have a conversation and then called my mum.

I asked her to come over and keep me company and to help me with Master 2 who was at his usual 4pm worst with far too much energy and pulling things apart. I called hubby who I knew was in a meeting and left a teary message asking him to come home.

My mum asked me if this meant I'd consider going private (she's a great fan of the private system and was unimpressed at my choice to go public - both times) and if not was it because of the cost. Look, it's not cheap but if we wanted to go private we could - but I'm due at the beginning of January (when lots of people are on holiday) and regardless anyone who was any good wouldn't have any availability...

But again, that's not the point.

I don't believe in private health care.

I keep reminding myself why when I could have saved myself some heartbreak....

I suppose lots of things about this situation upset me. And the pregnancy hormones aren't helping (yes, a stray tear escaped while writing this down as I re-live the heartbreak).

It's that we made certain decisions based on information that wasn't accurate (like if we *were* going to go private we'd have gotten the top level health insurance before we gave up the contraception).

I had such a great experience with my first pregnancy and delivery that I hadn't even considered other options and had my heart set on this one...

And of course, the lack of control and input into this decision.

But I found that out just after I wrote my last post and I'm feeling a bit better about it all now. My GP (who bulk bills) is registered for "shared care" at the local hospital which means I can go and see him instead of going to the hospital. I still have to see a clinic doc at 28 and 36 weeks but I would have had to do that even if I *had* been accepted into the program I wanted. I have a strategy for those appointments that should mean I don't have a 2 hour wait. My GP is very good at keeping close to time and his office hours are much more flexible than the clinic hours at the hospital. He knows me and my family so I'll have continuity of care. And I'll still have the option of using the early discharge program (3 days after caesarean) and having some home post natal care if we want it.

It's not what I wanted or had planned but it's not the end of the world.

Other news.

We've booked our "Babymoon + toddler" and we're going to Vanuatu for 4 nights in early September which should be lovely. Not the cheap holiday we'd been talking about but probably just what we need. Planning to keep a toddler amused during a 3 hour plane ride will be challenging but I'm sure we'll get there.

And I had a birthday. Nothing eventful but got a lovely gift from hubby. The entire series of "The West Wing" on DVD, 154 episodes - enough to have me watching stuff I enjoy while breastfeeding bub no 2.

Oh yeah. Scan no 2. Baby has all limbs and fingers and internal organs. Is now due 2 days earlier than first anticipated...

and

We're having another boy!


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